The first three months…

The first month. Let’s be honest. It was a blur that never wanted to end. I cried when my mom and grandma went home. It was hard for them to leave anwyay, but I was also fed while they were with us. My appetite still to this day hasn’t really found its way back. Which is fine. I’m not losing much weight anyway. I’m down almost 50 pounds, ┬ábut still feel like I have a long way to go. Babe only weighed 7 pounds .04 ounces and by the time I got home from the hospital I had only lost 10 of the 65 that had been packed on during the pregnancy.

We had his two week appointment and all was good. I got used to breastfeeding. We had a couple outings in his first two weeks while my mom and grandma were visiting. We did the outlet mall experience and dinner out one night.

The second month seemed pretty uneventful too. I mean he grew, slept, ate and pooped. That’s about it. He started smiling and it made all the sleepless nights worth it. Honestly he pretty much always had his days and nights straight, but I can never just sleep when he sleeps.

Sometime in the second month the PPD hit me like a ton of bricks. It first reared its head in the form of loneliness…in a way. My family and friends all live far from me and hub has most of his fairly close. It became very hard to see multiple people, or have them visit us, to meet babe. Other than my mom, grandma and step dad, I didn’t have anybody to visit or vice versa. It became very clear what I was up against. I saw the clear separation in family for once since we were married and this should be a time of more unity. The week I realized I was having PPD issues I made an appointment and went on meds.

Well, not long after that the crazies started. I switched meds. And here I am a zombie that doesn’t know what the eff she does in her sleep. I think it’s getting better. I hope. I have the breastfeeding figured out, which had helped A LOT. I love my son more than I could have ever imagined.

Right now there isn’t much that comes to mind in my sleepiness confusion that I have at oh, 8:30. I’ll update later when I can make more sense of things.



I guess my baby brain made me forget this blog ever existed. The last post was during my tenth week of pregnancy and BB is now one month old. I guess I’ll need to give the real cliffs notes for this post.

We had our Anatomy scan on May 5th and everything looked great. My mom was told the gender, and we kept it sealed in an envelope. Hubby knew I was dying to know even though we discussed the reveal wouldn’t be until the end of June. On Mothers Day he had a cake made with the icing inside revealing the gender. We found out we were expecting a baby boy. Ultimately we decided to use his initials, RCB, and announce the name at birth.

Overall, the pregnancy was uneventful. I had the nausea and fatigue for the first trimester. The fatigue decided to stick around for most of the pregnancy, but definitely not as bad as the first trimester.

I failed the glucose test and then had to do the three hour. I barely passed that and was told to limit carbs so that I wouldn’t have a huge baby with big ass shoulders. I tried to limit those carbs, I really did. I was somewhat successful at first. Baby wants what baby wants though. My carb, starch, and sweet addiction resulted in a weight gain of a whopping 65 pounds. Yep, 65!! I’m one month out and only halfway back to pre-pregnancy weight.

Probably from the bad eating habits and weight gain came the borderline preeclampsia. It wasn’t until the final weeks that my doctor was somewhat concerned. My urine test came back fine, but I still had high blood pressure and swollen feet. The blood pressure stayed right on the edge of concern. In the last weeks we discussed an induction date because of these issues. The induction was scheduled for September 14th, just a few days before my 16th due date.

My mom and grandma had flights booked to arrive on September 8th. About 6 weeks, maybe less, before my due date we asked the doctor when she would buy a ticket. She said around the 10th. We kept them updated and let them know when the induction was scheduled. My mom was going to push back her arrival since it didn’t sound like I would go into labor early.

I joked around about going into labor on Labor Day. I had my first contractions the day before. I had even more on Labor Day. I was afraid I jinxed myself. My mom and grandma were to arrive the next day. The contractions didnt last long and were very subtle. I was wrong. Thankfully!

They arrived at the Austin airport early on the 8th. Hubs picked them up and left me sleeping. He was worried I would go into labor while he was en route. He almost had me stay at his gmas in case I did, since neighbors could help me and she is closer to the hospital. Since I wasn’t having contractions before be left he wasn’t too worried.

By the time they got back to Temple from Austin it was after 10. We went to lunch and then I had chiropractor and OB appointments later that afternoon. At my OB appointment I had not progressed much since the previous week, which was really only 5 days since the last appointment. She said she would be seeing us on the 14th. We did talk about ways that I could trigger labor. She stripped my membranes, but remained confident nothing would happen before the 14th. She also said that I was so constipated that BB was probably staying put until that was resolved. We discussed a Miralax cleanse, which should solve that problem.

The night went by uneventful. I did my cleanse and went for a walk with my mom. Fast forward to about midnight when I was finally getting into bed… I swear, the minute I laid down I started to have minor contractions. I waited for them to stop like they had the previous two days. They didn’t. I slept through some of the earlier ones, but around 2:30 they became so intense that I started tracking them with an app on my phone. They kept getting stronger, longer and closer together (as was the mantra in childbirth class). They were horrible!! And, about the time they started to become more intense, the cleanse kicked in too. I started to think that maybe it was poop pains and went back and forth in my head between labor and poop pains.

Meanwhile, hubs appeared to be sleeping soundly. I wasn’t sure how between my trips to the bathroom and moaning and groaning through contractions. This continues through the night. I watched my tracker to see the contractions becoming less than 5 minutes apart and lasting for a minute or longer each time. I waited as long as I could until a decent time of morning. Around 7 I found my mom and told her I thought it was time. Going back and forth about whether we should go to the hospital or not, I finally said it was time.

I got hubs up and I did all I could to get dressed. He got the car loaded and we were off to the hospital. By this point walking triggered horrible contractions. When we arrived I had him get me a wheelchair. We then went up to be checked in and wait for what seemed like forever for triage. There was a couple waiting to be monitored for something and she was pretty far along. I am sure I gave her a nasty glimpse into her future. There were a few times that I snapped at poor hubs for coddling me too much. I told him that was one thing that would set me off, but he didn’t listen.

Once I made the decision to go to L&D, I grew very impatient. I was in a major hurry. I think mostly for the pain medication. I remember thinking if I wasn’t far enough along they were going to have to keep me anyway, or at least give me something for the pain. The contractions were killer. They almost had me in tears.

Finally we were called back to triage. We were back there forever and 30 minutes. They finally checked me and I had gone from 1cm and 50% at 4ish PM on the 8th to 5cm and 90%-complete at 8 AM on the 9th. I knew before we arrived that it was most likely go time, but the reality didn’t hit me until they asked us if we were ready to have a baby. O! M! G! It was happening!!

Our OB had told us she was leaving that morning and that she would be gone the rest of the week. Hub’s godfather had agreed early on to be in the delivery room for us as support for hub. It just so happened that he was covering for our doctor and he was already at the hospital when we arrived. It was a little sad my OB wasn’t there. I had been a patient of hers for awhile and worked through possible infertility issues. We even met with her together more than once before we were pregnant to discuss various things. It was great that we already had the godfather as backup though.

We finally were pulled back to the room where I would labor and ultimately deliver. I had already asked for pain meds more than once. Throughout the pregnancy I had my mind made up that I just wanted to do IV pain meds because the epidural scared me so much. I finally had my IV hooked up and they started Fentanyl, after what seemed like forever. That did absolutely nothing to help my contractions, but did help me relax just a little. I asked how long it would take to have some relief and was told I already should. I quickly made the decision that I needed the epidural, and I’m so glad that I did. I didn’t want one mostly for two reasons, I wanted to have the ability to walk if I wanted and I didn’t want a catheter. Well, walking wasn’t going to happen because that triggered more contractions and I could suck it up with the catheter. The epidural is God’s gift to women for going through such a painful ordeal as birth. I was afraid it wasn’t going to work because it wasn’t instant, but was told it could take 15 minutes. Well, they weren’t lying. That stuff had me comfortably numb. No more contractions were felt. It was about 12:30 when they gave me the epidural. After 12 hours of contractions, I was ready for a break.

At some point shortly after the epidural they checked me and I was a 7. I know they broke my water and started Pitocin, but I can’t remember what order that happened. I didn’t feel either, so all was good.

My mom and grandma came back, but didn’t stay too long. They had been in the waiting room the whole time until everything was good for them to come back. I had my labor soundtrack going on the iPad, an essential oil going that had been passed down through several mommas to help progress labor/good luck, and didn’t feel a damn thing. Life was good.

After awhile the nurses came in to move me on my side. Apparently BB didn’t like the Pitocin and his heart rate would do crazy things with contractions. After they adjusted me from side to side a few times they decided to check me to see if I had progressed any further. They weren’t going to be checking me again for awhile, but decided he would need to come out soon. I was a ten and complete. Push time! All kinds of activity started happening and they told me how the pushing would work. I had no idea I would only push with contractions. The nurse would have me hold my breathe at the start of contractions for ten counts while pushing and repeat three times. After several pushes the godfather told me we weren’t making much progress. Apparently when I hurt my tailbone in 2008 it bent back the opposite direction which acted as a speed bump. We did several pushes and then the decision was made to use forceps. He even tried to break my tailbone, but it wouldn’t give. The forceps were used and in one contraction he was out and on my chest. A healthy, beautiful baby boy.

I had my skin to skin time as they stitched me up. Eventually they had to take him to do all of his vitals and shots, etc. Hubs and I finally discussed the name. We were still down to four names and we weren’t sure, but we brought the list. We decided he looked more like one than the others..and so there it was.

And then zombie mom brain made me forget I even started this post and fast forward another two months.

So, the rest of the hospital stay was fairly uneventful. We were eventually moved from the L&D room to one in post partum. On the way to the room where we would finish recovering for the next couple days, we pushed the button that made a little chime ring throughout the hospital that indicated a birth had occurred.

The rest of that night was a blur and I was finally ready to just pass out. My mom brought us dinner and I was finally able to eat at around 10PM.

The next day babe had his newborn pictures taken and hearing test in the morning. Then came the dreaded circumcision. He had some minor bleeding complications which required a stay in the nursery for observation.

The nurses would bring him to me when it was time to nurse. We had an awesome nurse in the daytime, but the night brought an awful nurse who hubs so lovingly named ” Broom Hilda”. She was not great. She didn’t knock on the door before entering and once I noticed a pacifier in his bassinet. We clearly stated we weren’t doing pacifiers yet and breastfed only. I understood he was going through a traumatic experience and needed to be pacified when I wasn’t present. However, they should have checked with me before giving him the pacifier.

So, of course I had some problems with him latching because of the nipple confusion caused by them giving him a pacifier. That brought on the tip of the iceberg. Instead of letting me deal with it, Broom Hilda hovered. We just needed some extra time and would have figured it out because we eventually did. She decided to show me a “trick”. She came back during one of the late night feedings and put a syringe in his mouth that had formula in it so that he could get a little taste. Oh, hell no! Lactation had already showed me the same trick to do with breastmilk. We then kept him in the room with us and she was banned from our room. He slept on my chest that night.

The next day we were discharged after telling lactation, our day nurse and pediatrician about our experience with her.

And then, we were on our own…plus my mom and grandma for a week.