The first month. Let’s be honest. It was a blur that never wanted to end. I cried when my mom and grandma went home. It was hard for them to leave anwyay, but I was also fed while they were with us. My appetite still to this day hasn’t really found its way back. Which is fine. I’m not losing much weight anyway. I’m down almost 50 pounds, but still feel like I have a long way to go. Babe only weighed 7 pounds .04 ounces and by the time I got home from the hospital I had only lost 10 of the 65 that had been packed on during the pregnancy.
We had his two week appointment and all was good. I got used to breastfeeding. We had a couple outings in his first two weeks while my mom and grandma were visiting. We did the outlet mall experience and dinner out one night.
The second month seemed pretty uneventful too. I mean he grew, slept, ate and pooped. That’s about it. He started smiling and it made all the sleepless nights worth it. Honestly he pretty much always had his days and nights straight, but I can never just sleep when he sleeps.
Sometime in the second month the PPD hit me like a ton of bricks. It first reared its head in the form of loneliness…in a way. My family and friends all live far from me and hub has most of his fairly close. It became very hard to see multiple people, or have them visit us, to meet babe. Other than my mom, grandma and step dad, I didn’t have anybody to visit or vice versa. It became very clear what I was up against. I saw the clear separation in family for once since we were married and this should be a time of more unity. The week I realized I was having PPD issues I made an appointment and went on meds.
Well, not long after that the crazies started. I switched meds. And here I am a zombie that doesn’t know what the eff she does in her sleep. I think it’s getting better. I hope. I have the breastfeeding figured out, which had helped A LOT. I love my son more than I could have ever imagined.
Right now there isn’t much that comes to mind in my sleepiness confusion that I have at oh, 8:30. I’ll update later when I can make more sense of things.