As my son is becoming more and more independent, my anxiety has gone through the roof. As we are able to remove baby gates, because the house is now more baby proof since we prepare to move. I keep picturing that I walk into a room and something has fallen on top of him. Only seeing his tiny feet and nothing else. I can see it so clearly in my head, as if it was right in front of my face. I hate these thoughts, and I try to shake them away. Part of me thinks that maybe these are premonitions of things to come, and then I become even more anxious. I would absolutely die if anything were to happen to my son, especially an accident that I could prevent.
My husband is always telling me that worry does nothing, but easier said than done. I wish I could make it go away as easily as it comes. I’ve always been wired for worry, and it’s only becoming worse since becoming a mom. I really don’t want to be a helicopter mom, and I try to rationalize away the worry. I’m afraid that I’m going to do so at the wrong time and something will happen.
I’m so tired of having anxiety cripple me. It really impacts my life in so many ways.